Current mood:	Gah!
Current music:	The clatter of keyboards

Draft Outline
I was mucking around and knocked up a draft outline for Book 1 of the "John the Dungraker Chronicles". I thought I'd post it here for feedback/a good kicking...


Can John the Dungraker overcome his low station and win the heart of the Unicorn Princess?

Moves (backstory in brackets):
(John as a child, sold to the Dungrakers - hereditory sewer workers)
(John survives and thrives because of his Special Power: healing/empathy)
(Kingdom hardpressed by Barbarian Enemies)
(Princess's Evil Uncle becomes Regent.)
John falls for the Princess.
John escapes the sewers and joins the army.
John rises through the ranks.
John proves himself.
John destroys Princess's Evil Uncle.
John becomes Regent/Military Dictator.
John courts Princess.
Princess - thinking his motives are political - spurns him.
John lost in darkness.

Act 1: Can John escape the sewers? Yes, but his love for the Unicorn
Princess forces him to join the army rather than flee the city. Now he must survive the military life.
Escaping a giant sewer rat, and drawn by his empathy, John interupts the Unicorn Princess's rite...he unconsciously heals her myopia.
Evil Uncle's soldiers throw him back... but the Princess gives him a knife.
His empathy enables him to kill the rat... then decides to use the knife to escape.
He commits murder to escape... but suffers empathy kickback.
He makes it to the city boundary... but his love for the princess makes him hesitate.
A recruiting sergeant proclaims free pardon etc for new army recruits... John signs up.
Old Soldier bullies and abuses John - his situation is worse, not better.

Act 2: Can John overcome his Empathy and succeed as a soldier? Yes, but only by perverting his Special Powers. Now he has become a political player.

(Old Soldier makes John his "boy")
Despite beatings, John attends weapons training.
Evil Uncle intervenes and adds him to his staff... but John sees through him (he's henchman fishing).
John becomes an adept fighter (thanks to his empathy).
Barbarians invade... the army marches out to meet them.
John is relegated to the camp.
During the battle, the barbs attack the camp.
John rallies the camp boys and repells the barbs.
Kikcback trauma makes John lose his empathy.
John promoted on spot, but - now empathy blind - no longer dares being around Evil Uncle.
John opts to join a Nice Uncle's regiment (i.e. not under Evil Uncle's control).
Evil Uncle vows revenge.

Act 3: Can John survive Evil Uncle's scheming? Yes, but his men take his side and make him march on the City. Now he must sieze power or let the City fall.

(Evil Uncle tricks Nice Uncle into suicidal attack on barbs.)
(Evil Uncle tips off barbs.)
Nice Uncle's regiment decimated, but John (surviving officer) takes command and saves the day (despite not using his empathy).
Regiment marches back in triumph, but Evil Uncle's henchmen arrest John on trumped up charge).
Regiment rebels and marches on City with John reluctantly at the head.
John realises that evil Uncle must be supplanted or City will fall.

Act 4: Can John defeat Evil Uncle? Yes, but only by become a monster in the eyes of the Princess. Now he must prove himself to her...(sequel)

The two armies face off.
John has advantage... but wants to avoid destroying the City's army.
John challenges Evil Uncle to Duel... Evil Uncle accepts.
Evil Uncle tries to win by treachery... John embraces the pain of empathy and wins anyway.
John courts Princess.
Princess thinks he's only after her to legitimise his rule, and spurns him.
John lost in darkness.

UPDATE: Cairmen, over coffee, pointed out that the high concept as it stands is pish. Good job I didn't waste 6 months bashing out a draft, eh?